Психолог, гештальт терапевт та психологічний консультант.
Why is it important to understand who you are looking for?

The search for a life partner is a significant step that requires not only active efforts but also deep self-reflection and awareness of one’s own desires and needs. Often, we assume that to find the perfect partner, it’s enough to have a general idea of how they should look or what qualities they should possess. However, to find a partner with whom the relationship will be long-lasting and harmonious, much more is needed — an understanding of who you are and what you are truly seeking in a relationship.

The importance of self-awareness and understanding your own values and priorities before starting the search

Before searching for a partner, it’s crucial to focus on yourself. Self-awareness is a key factor in finding a harmonious relationship. Understanding your values, priorities, and your strengths and weaknesses helps you identify what type of person you truly need for building a healthy relationship.

Our values and priorities define what is important to us in life — whether it be career, family, spiritual growth, or creativity. A partner who shares similar values will be more compatible and help foster the development of shared goals. Therefore, it’s important to clearly identify your values first, and only then seek a partner who shares those same views.

The impact of self-discovery on forming a clear image of the desired partner

Self-discovery helps you create a more realistic image of the ideal partner. When you understand your needs and desires, you can form a clearer idea of who you are looking for. This doesn’t mean making a checklist of traits your ideal partner must have but rather identifying important characteristics and qualities that align with your life principles.

Having a clear vision of the desired partner helps avoid wasting time on relationships doomed to fail from the outset due to incompatibility. It also prevents entering relationships that don’t meet your true desires and needs, merely out of fear of being alone or to meet societal expectations.

How unrealistic expectations can hinder finding a partner

Unrealistic expectations are one of the major barriers to building successful relationships. These expectations can be the result of media influence, social media, or romanticized ideas that do not reflect the reality of life. Expectations that a partner should be flawless or that relationships should always be conflict-free lead to disappointment and a loss of motivation.

Instead of searching for the perfect partner, it’s important to remain open to the possibility of meeting a real person with their strengths and weaknesses. It’s crucial to remember that relationships are the work of two people who are willing to learn, grow, and support each other, rather than a search for a fantasy figure.

Understanding who you are looking for in a partner starts with self-awareness. It is a process of self-discovery, understanding your values, needs, and expectations. It is essential to be honest with yourself, avoid unrealistic expectations, and seek a partner who aligns with your true desires and goals. Only in this way can you find a partner with whom the relationship will be not only long-lasting but also filled with love, respect, and mutual understanding.